Half-Assed Homemaker

If you get your ID questioned (and then rejected) for beer, try getting a new picture taken where you look less heavy, if possible. (Spinach salad and Pasta Alfredo diet, look out Dr. Phil).

Know your height.

When the person who chose the restaurant chose to eat dinner elsewhere before you get to the restaurant... worry.

Dense restaurant employees will stand at your table for second after second, expecting you to hand her stuff or pass stuff along to the rest of the table. You just accused me of fraud, don't expect any favors.

Said employee also thinks trying to sell you soda is a good idea. Corn syrup and mystery toxins far worse than alcohol is not a substitute for beer.

Not having any health code violations on record is usually a good thing, unless it is because there are no recorded health code inspections for that establishment.

An Indian restaurant named Kennedy's Irish Pub... sketchy.

Indian restaurants are insulting in more ways than one. Give Americans some credit, greasy isn't the only flavor they know.